How to Live Like a Porteño

If I am going to make Buenos Aires my home for a few months, I need to try to live like a Porteño.  So I have been diligently observing the lifestyle and the customs.

This is going to be a challenge.

These are the 10 things I will need to do to live like a Porteño.

1. Perfect the cheek-to-cheek air kiss and NEVER forget to properly greet everyone.

Whenever you meet someone, you must give them the cheek-to-cheek air kiss.  It is always your right cheek touching their right cheek.  Yes, you must make cheek contact.  But no, you do NOT let your lips touch the other person’s cheek – this is how you know when a man is being creepy and not just a friendly Argentine.  And yes, the same rule applies to men greeting each other.

This rule still applies when meeting large groups.  When I meet up with my running group, everyone goes around the circle when they arrive and does the cheek air-kissing.  And if this means we start running 10 minutes after class is supposed to begin, then so be it.

You NEVER skip the greeting.

2.  Show up late for everything.

If you have plans to meet someone in Buenos Aires (whether they are Argentine or expat), it is a given that person will show up late.  If they show up within 15 minutes of the planned meeting time, consider yourself lucky.  They will not feel bad about being late either.

People show up for my running class 30-45 minutes late, and it is no big deal.  They just join whatever activity we are currently doing… after interrupting class to give everyone the proper greeting of course.

3. Develop a sweet tooth.

When you buy ground coffee beans at the grocery store, the bag actually contains sugar.  I stood staring at the section of coffee for five minutes reading labels trying to find something that was not 10% sugar.  I finally found one brand… it was 30% more expensive.

Many brands to choose from

Con Azucar Molido (With ground sugar)

Con Azucar Molido

This also explains the massive consumption of dulce de leche.  It is in every single dessert as a filling, a topping, a condiment… I am quite sure dulce de leche is considered to be a potential miracle cure for the common cold as well.

4. Have coffee and sugar for breakfast.

It is all about the medialunas here.  These are a type of factura (pastry) similar to croissants.  There are tons of shops that specialize in medialunas.  Note if you are staying in a hostel, the “included breakfast” will most likely consist of just medialunas, coffee, and tea.

Nothing like some empty carbs to get the day started off right.

The real danger here is that since they are not filling at all, it is easy to accidentally consume your entire day’s worth of calories before noon.

Cafe con leche and 3 facturas - a common breakfast for Portenos

One of the many stores in Palermo that specialize in medialunas

And remember that coffee that already contains sugar….Porteños dump a whole lot more sugar in it.

5. Eat a big lunch around 1pm.

Since people eat nothing but sugar for breakfast, they are ravished by lunchtime.  Buenos Aires is an expensive city (by Latin American standards), and one of the best restaurant deals is the lunch special.  In many places you can get a main course, a drink, a dessert, and a coffee for about $7-12.

Oh, and your drink can be a glass of wine.  Love it!

I have watched people eat massive steaks with a side of mashed potatoes and a full basket of bread for lunch.  I imagine everyone back at the office in a food coma unable to move.

Business must completely stop in Argentina in the afternoon.

6. Eat a merienda around 6pm.

At the time I would normally have dinner, the Porteños eat a merienda.  This is basically to tide them over until their ridiculously late dinner, as well as perpetuate the café culture that is very dominant here.

Sometimes this is just a coffee and medialunas (in case you did not get enough caffeine and sugar in the morning).  Or if you want something a little more substantial, share a picada and a beer or bottle of wine.  This is my personal favorite.

Picadas are the best!

You cannot go wrong with a tray of quality cheeses and meats.

7. Eat dinner at 10pm (or later).

This is no joke.  Most restaurants do not even open for dinner until 8pm.  Dinner usually lasts a minimum of 3 but often 4 or 5 hours.  A lot of travelers mistake it for bad service when the waitress does not come back to your table after serving your meal.  They say, “Why aren’t they bringing the check?” But in reality, they are not trying to turn tables here.

When you go to a restaurant, it is understood that you have the right to that table for the entire night.  I think this is a great concept (if you are not a server in the US and making $3 an hour and living off of tips).

I was quite proud of my dinner out with Rease from Travelated and Ayngelina from Bacon is Magic.  We arrived at 8pm, and we did not get home until after 1am. 

5 hours!

On my way to becoming a Porteño.

8. Go to the club at 2am.

Okay, I hate clubs (called boliches in Buenos Aires).  I have not been to one yet.  Yes, that is what Buenos Aires is famous for, but I really don’t care.  I do not like drunk, sweaty people rubbing up on me while DJs play crappy music.

Maybe I am just getting old.  Or maybe I just prefer a dive bar with some good beer on tap.

Well even if you like to play it low-key, you will discover that most people don’t even hit up regular bars until well after midnight.

9. Go to bed at 6am, maybe later.

I have gone for a morning run around 8am on a Sunday and seen people still out from the night before sharing a liter of Quilmes on the street.  If there is an open container law here, it is not enforced.

I am very proud that I have had one late night here… until 5am.  I am no longer a virgin to late-night Buenos Aires.  Then my body naturally woke me up 5 hours later, and those 5 glasses of wine made me hate life for a day.

Giant wine pour at Magdalena's in Palermo

10. Sleep until early afternoon.

If you are staying in a hostel or renting a shared apartment, do not expect your roommates to wake up until after noon on the weekend.  On the plus side, there is no guilt or judgment if you have a late night out.

When you do wake up, all you want is some greasy faina and a slice of fugazzetta from Kentucky Pizza.

Living like a Porteño is going to be difficult for me.

I am a morning person. I like to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I am not capable of sleeping through the entire day.

I prefer eating healthy, satisfying breakfasts. I try to avoid consuming lots of sugar. I like to eat dinner at a reasonable hour.

If any Porteños or expats living in Buenos Aires have tips for me or stories about making this lifestyle adjustment, please share.